elderly man sitting on a bench alone, with dark shadows being cast on him. ageing population needs our help.

Is a Long Life a Lonely One?

I can’t imagine living life alone.

 

I used to believe that living a long life meant having a rich life, filled with experiences and being surrounded by people I cherish. But as I grow older, I started to question if that’s always true.

Within the past year alone, there were at least 37 elderly people found dead in their homes, alone and unnoticed for days.

These are not isolated incidents but rather a symptom of a growing societal crisis, a reflection of the loneliness that plagues many in our ageing population. These percentages represent the loneliness epidemic in this day and age, though many more incidents remain unrecorded.

This should be your wake-up call. It’s heartbreaking and a sign that something’s seriously wrong with how we’re living. But what exactly is… wrong?

You’re most likely rushing to get somewhere in life: to be accepted into your dream university, moving up the career ladder, or aiming for a bigger paycheck. We’re so focused on reaching the next level that we forget to look around and appreciate what we already have. When we set aside our ambitions, what truly matters is our loved ones – the people who mean the most to us.

It’s easy to get caught up in the rat race, especially in a paper-chasing society. Even as a 19-year-old, I already have so much that I want to accomplish. This requires me to put aside most of my time to invest in my personal growth – but that doesn’t mean I don’t have time for my loved ones at all.

Technology is another factor that contributes to us failing to pursue genuine connections with our family. Can you believe it? Something that is meant to connect us is, ironically, isolating us.

My grandparents lived far away in the Bicol province of the Philippines. My family and I loved them dearly, but juggling work and family life here in Singapore made frequent visits almost impossible.

As a result, we relied on video calls to stay connected. Sure, we could see each other’s faces, but it couldn’t replace the warmth of a real hug or the comfort of a shared silence.

Distance, combined with the convenience of technology, created a barrier between us. It’s easy to fall for the illusion of closeness without their presence.

 

 

Loneliness isn’t just about being alone. It’s the feeling of being unseen, unheard, and undervalued. And when loneliness takes hold of you, it can be difficult to find joy in the simple pleasures of life. 

Every moment would be tinged with a sense of isolation – truly a heavy burden to carry alone.

Imagine facing that as an elder who has spent a lifetime contributing to society, only to find yourself on the sidelines. My grandparents’ experience is a painful reminder of this.

The constraints imposed by the COVID-19 pandemic only served to worsen the isolation my grandparents faced. With travel restrictions in place, we were unable to provide the care and companionship they so desperately needed.

Receiving news of their declining health over the phone made it an even more heart-wrenching experience, a rude awakening of the limitations of technology when it comes to looking after your loved ones.

Some would argue that individuals are solely responsible for their own happiness, regardless of age. While personal resilience is crucial, one must also recognise that simply “putting themselves out there” or pursuing new interests doesn’t erase the feelings of loneliness. Not everyone has a healthy way of coping with such negativity.

 

 

Our elders paved the way, but now they’re feeling left behind. We’re so busy with our own lives that we lose sight of what makes a community strong – caring for one another.

Making time for our loved ones, especially our elders, should be a priority while they’re still around. So visit them, share a meal or simply ask them about their day.

Volunteering with older folks is another way to make a real impact. There are tons of ways to get involved, from helping out at a senior centre to just being a friendly face to the local elderly community. By supporting them, we create a society where everyone feels valued and connected.

And you know what? It can be rewarding for both you and them. Interacting with older adults can provide unique perspectives, foster empathy, and even teach us valuable life lessons. 

These small acts of kindness can create a ripple effect of positivity. It’s all about building a community, one step at a time.

A long and prosperous life is a gift, but it’s dreadful if you’re alone. The growing epidemic of lonely deaths is a reminder that human connection is essential to our well-being. And as we age, fostering human connection becomes more important than ever.

It’s a tragic reality that many seniors find themselves isolated and alone, and this highlights the urgent need for societal change. It’s time to slow down and really see the people around us. 

 

Let’s make time for heart-to-heart talks. 

Let’s create lasting memories. 

Let’s be there for them, while we still can.

Because at the end of the day, time waits for no one, not even our loved ones.

 

Me and my grandmother.
Me and my grandmother – I wish I was able to spend time with her while she was still around.

 

 

David C.

"Just a dude trying to make peace with the best and worst parts of myself."

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